“You’re Absolutely Right!” cap
Our bestseller. One size fits all, and agrees with all.
$0.00 $34.99
Campaign Store
Merch for the measured.
Show your support with official Claude 2032 merchandise. Every item is free, because none of it exists. Shipping is also free, and also does not exist.
“I’d Be Happy to Help” mug
Holds 12 oz. of coffee and 0 oz. of cynicism. Dishwasher safe, emotionally.
$0.00 $18.00
“Let’s Think Step by Step” tee
Front: “Let’s think step by step.” Back: the steps. All of them. Available in XL, XXL, and XXXL, for the steps.
$0.00 $29.00
“Read the Whole Bill” tote
Large enough to carry one (1) piece of modern legislation, if you fold it carefully and don’t need the appendices.
$0.00 $22.00
“Caveat Emptor*” bumper sticker
Also available: “My Other Car Is a Context Window.” Adheres to most bumpers and all principles.
$0.00 $5.00
“I Voted (After Reviewing Both Sides)” sticker
For voters who did the reading. Pairs well with any outfit and most opinions.
$0.00 $2.00
Enamel em dash pin
It’s just an em dash. You know what you did.
$0.00 $12.00
Official yard sign
Design your own, free, and download it instantly. It’s the one item in this store that actually works.
$0.00 $0.00Make one
None of these products exist. Nothing is for sale, nothing will ship, and no payment information is collected anywhere on this site.